moshimo negai ga kanau
donna negai wo kanae masu ka? (What kind of wish will you make?)
boku wa mayowazu kotaeru darou (I probably can answer without any doubt)
mouichido. . . anata ni aitai (That I want to see you once again)
Standing here at the same balcony we stood together a year ago made me remember things about you. It made me remember the things we used to do and the things we use to say to each other. With all the memories flowing, it caused something else to flow down, my tears. With each lovely memory, it hurts knowing that you are no longer by my side.
The night is just like it was a year ago. That night as we stare at the stars, you asked me a question that I couldn’t answer. Tonight, a year later I have the answer.
soto wa hanabira irozuku kisetsu (In the season in which the outside is colored with flower petals)
kotoshi mo azayaka ni sakihokoru (The flowers are vividly in full bloom again this year)
anata ga suki datta kono keshiki wo (Under this scenery which you love)
ima wa. . . hitori aruiteru (I am walking by myself)
Every year we would walk under the Sakura trees to enjoy the beautiful scene and to take in the beautiful scent the flowers emit. I can never forget the very first year we did it. We were starting our second year of high school. You casually ask me to walk home with you. Since our paths are the same I agreed without a second thought. It was then that you pointed out the path with Sakura trees line up along it on both sides. It was the first time I ever saw such a scene. You stop in your track to look up at the flowers and what you said then never left my mind.
“This scene only takes place once a year but it’s my most treasured scene. That is why I decided to only show it to the person I love.”
I can’t forget the way you looked at me that time. I felt totally embarrassed but happy. I still remember crying and making you worried. It was the best moment of my life. After that without fail every year we would walk down that path and enjoy the Sakura scene.
However this year I walk down the path alone.
wakari ae zu ni kizutsuke ta (Due to misunderstanding, we hurt each other)
osana sugi ta ano hibi mou (Even back in those days when we were still young)
tashika na ai ni tsutsuma re te (We knew that we were embraced by true love)
i ta koto o shiri mashi ta
There was a time where we hurt each other badly. It was all due to a single misunderstanding.
In first year of university, I saw you with a girl from another class. And because you were very intimate with her, I thought that you were seeing her behind my back. To get back at you I acted intimately with this certain guy in my class who happens to have a crush on me. I acted out on anger and made you hurt. However you never did try to make it better. You simply let me be and I felt hurt. When I couldn’t take it anymore I lashed out on you. However you did nothing but simply let me hit you till I break down in your arms. You even apologize without even knowing the reason for my anger.
Today, I am thankful that incident took place. Back then we were just young and just lost in love. Because of that incident we were closer than ever. Today as I stand here at your favourite place, I know that what we had was true love. And I will never forget that.
aitai aitai (I want to see you, I want to see you)
wasure wa shi nai (I won't forget)
anata wa ima mo koko ni iru kara (Even now, you are still inside my heart)
arigatou arigatou (Thank you Thank you)
tsutae kire nai (I can't express enough)
omoi wo douka todoi te hoshii (My thought, somehow, I want it to reach you)
That day at the hospital was the last day that I ever saw you. A year ago you lay motionless on the white bed covered by a white sheet. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw it. Your parents had called me to tell me the news. I rushed to the hospital hoping to see you one last time before you go but you wouldn’t let me. You left with just a letter addressed to me.
At that time we just graduated from university and decided to go back to our parents’ home. Although we didn’t see each other we called each other everyday and you sound as cheerful as ever. Never would I have thought that you are fighting a terminal disease and that you are in your final moments. I went to your house and your parents are so friendly towards me as always. Never would I have thought that they are keeping a secret. We had a fun time together. We cook, played games, sang songs and even had a wonderful dinner together. Never did I think that it would be our last time doing it. Never did I think that I will never see you ever again. Reading your letter I can’t control the tears that are flowing.
I took a box from the closet and opened it up. How many times have I opened this box within the past year? I took out your letter and read it once again. Tears never seem to fail from flowing. Every time I read this letter I would feel like seeing you. I would feel like telling you that I have never forgotten about you. I want to tell you that I have so much to thank you for. I want to tell you that throughout our years together, I have so much to be grateful for. And right now, somehow I really wish that I can send my feelings to you.
I really want to see you.
asa no hikari ni me wo some te (The morning sun shines on me and I squint my eyes)
atarashii nichijou ga hajimaru kedo (A brand new day has started)
kizuke ba doko ka ni sagashi te shimau (Once I realize, I have been looking here and there)
mou inai anata no sugata wo (For you, whom is no longer here)
I woke up with the sun shining on me. I squint my eyes to avoid the bright light. Another day has arrived. I went to work as usual, walking along the same Sakura trees path, stopping in the middle of it although the flowers are no longer in bloom. Walking slowly along the shopping district while others are rushing since that’s where we always take our strolls at. Stopping at an old cafe to buy coffee; the same place we used to hang out during our university years. I would always look around the area as I walk to work knowing it’s the same one we walked on years ago. Reaching my work place, our old high school, I would stop at the gate because that’s where you stood waiting for me after school. Without realizing it, I have been trying to search for you at our usual places. Today I finally realized that I have been searching for something that is no longer there.
You are no longer in this world.
nani mo iwa zu ni hohoen da (Without saying anything, you smile)
yasashikatta ano egao (That's gentle smile of yours)
ikiru kurushimi yorokobi wo (Has teach me the joy and pain of living)
nan do mo oshie te
You are a person of little words. However you seem to love to smile a lot and at almost everything. No matter whether it’s for something happy or sad, that smile of yours never left your side.
When you first confessed your love for me, you smiled even though you were red in embarrassment. When you asked me that question that night at the balcony and I couldn’t answer, you smiled letting the matter go. When we walked down that Sakura path, you smiled knowing how happy I am to be with you. When we graduated from high school, you smiled even though I was crying. When we parted from our parents, you smiled knowing we won’t be that far away from them. When we moved into our first apartment, you smiled as I danced happily around the apartment. When we got into a fight, you smiled no matter how angry I looked. When we had our first major misunderstanding, you smiled even though you were badly hurt. When I got my job offer, you smiled although you didn’t get yours. And when you lay on that white hospital bed, you had a smile on your face even though I was crying for you to wake up.
Your gentle smile has taught me a lot and with that same smile, I learn to live again after that day.
afure te afure te (Overflowing, overflowing)
koe ni nara nai (It cannot be described by words)
anata wo sora ni omoiegai ta (Staring at the sky I think about you)
naitari warattari (We cried, we laughed)
tomoni ayunda (We walked together)
ashiato to wa ni kie wa shinai sa (The footprints will never disappear)
On my off days, I would take walks. I would go to our favourite field and lie down on the cooling grass. I would stare at the sky for hours, just remembering our times together. And as I remember, my feelings tied to my tears will flow like the never ending river.
I remember our first movie outing that ends with both of us crying. Never did I think that you are the emotional kind. We laughed about it later that day as we walked home together hand in hand.
We had so many events where we cried together, laughed together and walked together. Those events are forever etch in my heart and will never disappear. Our memories linked to our special places will never disappear too. Every time I visit those places I can see our figures and it feels like I am watching a movie of us together. It’s true what people say about your footprints and that it can never be erased once it has made a mark on the ground. Our footprints have left its mark and will not disappear.
Ah Ah Ah hateshinaku mata meguri (Ah Round and round, the destiny of)
au inochi (reuniting)
moshimo negai ga kanau no nara (If I am granted a wish, please once again, let)
mouichido. (me...)
A year passed and I know that there is no way that I will ever see you ever again. However if ever I was given a chance, a special chance, I would use it to see you again.
ai tai ai tai (I want to see you, I want to see you)
wasure wa shi nai (I won't forget)
anata wa ima mo koko ni iru kara (Even now, you are still inside my heart)
arigatou arigatou (Thank you Thank you)
tsutae kire nai (I can't express enough)
omoi wo douka todoi te hoshii (My thought, somehow, I want it to reach you)
No matter how hard I try, I can never forget you and all the things that we have done together. I can never forget the things that you have done for me. I can’t forget the feelings that are tied to these memories. And although I know saying thank you would not be enough, I still want my gratitude to reach you.
koe mo nukumori mo (Your voice, your warmth,)
yasashii hohoemi mo (Your gentle smile)
koko ni iru kara (They are all still in my heart)
ai tai (I want to see you)
Standing in front of your grave on your death anniversary, I remember everything about you. I can picture you standing right in front of me telling me not to cry in your sweet deep voice. And knowing that I won’t stop crying, you would reach out your hand to wipe the tears away and I will be able to feel the warmth emitted by that rough hand of yours. However even after you wipe the tears more tears flow down and you simply smiled at me, the same gentle smile you have just for me.
I know that you are not physically here in front of me. I know that it’s all in my mind. However my body still remembers you and your touch. Those things are in my heart and the pain of remembering makes me want to see you.
I want to see you. Ai tai.
~~END~~
EDIT:The song isn't mine cause it belongs to Yuzu and the title is Aitai.
